Childhood


I was always afraid
Scared of heights, I could never climb as high
Drowning terrified me
So I could only stand in the shallows
My words stumbled, tripped,
I was never saying the right things
Or they got turned against me
The hated flush burning my cheeks
So I became silent
Other kids were aliens
At best, monsters at their worst
I can still remember hanging by my underwear
From a fence pole
Hot tears and snot running down my face
Embarrassed, angry, wanting others to hurt
Just this badly
But only in my imagination
Because I was afraid of the consequences
If I hit back
To this day I itch if you’re closer
Than two feet from me
Even handshakes make me cringe
You live so long with the fear
It becomes your friend and you’ll need it
Because it gets lonely in here

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One Response to “Childhood”

  1. ignorance through absence
    fear masked as anger
    laughter hiding shame
    nailed to the cross yet again
    wordless to express the depth of regret

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