The Marlboro Man Rides Off Into The Sunset

I haven’t done just a journal entry on the blog in a while, but I have recently made a decision to make a change in my life that I thought was worth writing about. I am going to quit smoking. I have given myself one last week, but on Friday night I will have my last cigarette, when I wake up on Saturday I am going to do my best to be smoke free.
This is a big deal, I started smoking first when I was thirteen, which means I have been smoking for twenty years. It’s become a part of my identity as much as it is an addiction, my cigarette is a prop in all of my social interaction and that is just going to be gone. Any time I picture myself in my head, it is always with a smoke in hand and that image is going to be drastically altered. The thing is, it’s just time. I feel crappy most days and while there are probably a number of factors involved in that, the smoking certainly isn’t helping. For the first time in my life I feel ready to quit for me, not because of someone else. I have tried quitting in the past because it would make someone else happy and that failed in every case. Hopefully this time it will go better, but I have a feeling this is going to be very hard for me. I have a strong addictive streak in my psychological makeup and a resistance to change that approaches congress in its immovability. I have also never really followed through with anything in my life, mostly out of fear, but also out of a profound laziness. These are all some pretty significant obstacles, but I have come to the determination that this must be done. I need to move forward in my life and if I can start with this one concrete act of change and can see it through it may prove the lever that moves my world at the very least.
This is not earth shattering news by any means, and I am sure those who do read my blog would probably have much rather read a nice new poem or weird, ranting piece of prose, but I needed to put this out there, to make a declaration that I can be held accountable for, because this is the World Wide Web and once I hit publish, these words will be out there forever, and there will be witnesses. I might have at least a few qualms about trying to weasel out of this if what amounts to the whole world could in theory be shaking their collective heads in reproach and disappointment.
In closing, for any of my regular readers out there, I could really use your support. Any prayers you feel you could make, positive thoughts you want to send, incense you could burn, sacrifices to dark and pagan gods you could make for the furtherance of my quest for personal growth and achievement would be greatly appreciated. For those close to me that read this, I will apologize in advance for the horrible, fire breathing, vulgarity spewing, twitching, compulsive hand drumming, bitchy, sarcasm dripping, venomous complete douchenozzle I am going to transform into over the coming weeks. All I can ask is that if it does become necessary to put me down for the good of humanity, do it quickly. Wish me luck my tender lumplings, this Friday I am going to wave farewell and happy trails to my good friend the Marlboro Man. We had a good run and some swell times together, but the time has come for that ole cowboy to ride off into the sunset and the credits to roll with the dramatic swelling of the soundtrack. Enough savage and merciless twisting of metaphors, I think I violated several articles in the rarely discussed section of the Geneva Convention against inhumane treatment of literary figures. I hope to see all of you on the other side if this, cheers all.

24 Responses to “The Marlboro Man Rides Off Into The Sunset”

  1. mother2rah Says:

    I will send lots of positive light and energy for your success. It is such an important step and it will give you a greater possibility for more time with those you love. Congratulations on making this decision.

  2. I’ve been there, not with so many years invested in it, but I know of what you speak. It is the part of you missing that is the most difficult. But looking at a NEW you is exciting too. All my support and good wishes are with you.

  3. at your shoulder on this journey
    i too will break an evil habit

  4. emisformaker Says:

    My fella says that after the first few days, the nicotine gets flushed from your system, so then it’s the habit part. For him, it was a huge stress coping mechanism, so he experienced copious amounts of anxiety when he quit. He found that Rhodiola (a supplement, available at your local supplement store) was quite helpful in that capacity.
    I’m glad you want this so much, and I’m sure your kids do, too.

  5. patch ashman Says:

    light a match under M man’s ass so’s he’ll ride off a bit quicker

  6. spiritus paternimus Says:

    the day is here
    your gift arrives
    surrender to it

  7. ejie pugalist Says:

    feelin’ cranky?
    punch the sponge!

  8. witness seven Says:

    lips on the lung blackening cylinder BAD
    lips on the cheek of a loved one GOOD
    here’s wishing you a lop-sided victory

  9. juan ovmenny Says:

    no judgement be feared
    quiet smiles in admiration of your wisdom

  10. wachin with pride Says:

    feel worse and worse
    better and better
    be still and quiet
    a growing chorus will tell you
    about the good you have done
    for all who know you

  11. G/. G's son Says:

    tearfully at good-bye
    when age makes the countdown
    keen with emotion
    when a new direction offers promise
    knowing that, although gone from sight, loved ones
    will have the experience
    many more times

  12. dizzy know more Says:

    ah change…
    a country
    a culture

    tumble around inside the drum
    get what you get
    when finally spit out

    stay calm
    be informed by experience
    make the circle wider
    change becomes an ally
    for the better
    like right now

    • Your words are both profound and finding the heart of the matter dad. Thank you for your support and your love and for being the only person to have commented the most on my blog while still only having one comment per name. I love you so much. Thank you is just not enough, but it will have to do.

  13. sparkling eyes Says:

    absolutely nothing less than a person of your character deserves

  14. al alooyah Says:

    as your lungs begin to heal
    fill them
    and sing to the heavens
    your joy
    at the love
    given and received

  15. maple's liquid joy Says:

    spring is hinting at its arrival
    cool fresh air
    blowing cross the snow
    warmed by the sun
    a greeting
    and promise
    of new beginnings

  16. ize wide 'opin' Says:

    what you do
    right now
    draws on wisdom
    hard earned
    from the past
    sets a better course
    into the future

    try thinking about this brave course of action
    as forming a new habit

  17. in 30 days
    this new sanity
    will, too,
    become habit
    listen to the cheers
    fair lad

  18. bearded gnome Says:

    good friday
    in many ways
    tinged with a mourner’s sadness
    but brightened
    with the promise of renewal
    a wish
    breathed into northern air
    carried to dear souls
    in the southern land

  19. full moon paxter Says:

    and on this day,
    new hope arises
    thoughts of loved ones
    however distant
    warms the heart

  20. iman r. soal Says:

    no fools in April
    weather too unpredictable
    heavy snow
    knife-edged wind
    glorious day to be outside

  21. countless times
    how things might be
    if family had allowed
    a concerned presence
    to comfort that young soul
    making all of this
    so unnecessary

  22. much calmer now Says:

    tried shopping today
    now called unicorn hunting
    home at last
    bitchy,sarcastic hand drumming
    still not the same as
    thoughts of family
    makes the bad stuff
    little dry mouse turds
    let the spring wind
    take them all

  23. sapman maplehurst Says:

    checking the skies nightly for signs of smoke
    ah, yes
    great columns of white
    rising skyward
    the north wind perhaps
    sending whisps of the maple sweetness
    south to assure you
    that spring is on the rise

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: