Not Really What I Want to Say, But Saying It Just To Be Speaking

So I want to write something about music, or more specifically rock and roll music.  The thing is, the words are just not coming.  I have sat and stared at both my monitor and a blank page in a notebook many times over the last several weeks trying to come up with what I want to say, but I just can’t seem to capture it, either in verse or in prose.  As many of you out there may know, or not depending on whether or not you actually read anything on here, I am obsessed with music.  I have often said that the space that some people put God and faith, that part of them that is both consumed and filled with Grace is the place in my soul that is filled by music.  I think the greatest invention ever is my iPod, basically a tiny device that holds whole worlds, a mobile cathedral, spiritual solace in my pocket.  I am never without music in some form or another and I seriously could not live without it, it is like oxygen, food, water, a vital part of me and who I am.  That is why I find it such a troubling thing that I cannot express what I want when I try to write about music.  Rock especially holds a fascination for me, the violence of it, the raw sexuality, freedom, rebellion, and the thousand and one other things that this one loose form envelopes.  Even this is not really what I want to be saying, but I need to be writing something and I have to get this out, then maybe the other words might come.



4 Responses to “Not Really What I Want to Say, But Saying It Just To Be Speaking”

  1. blackwatertown Says:

    Maybe you need to change how you try to write about it – have the music in your ears while you’re out and about – then just scrawl down thoughts on scraps of paper and your hand and arm (er, I do) and then transfer them to something better when you get home – that way you act when the thought comes – and for me the thought often comes when I’m moving.

    • I do have the music in my ears almost all of the time, as I indicated, my iPod is like my little portable hymnal, the thing is though that the words just seem to want to come at the most inopportune time, specifically when there are absolutely no writing implements to be had whatsoever. It never fails that I have the most brilliant idea on my way from my house to the shops and the only thing I brought with me was a cigarette and my wallet. I usually carry about a notebook and pen with me wherever I go in my satchel, but the blinding moments of true inspiration only seem to come when I am in the bloody shower. I think it is one of those singular events that haunt all writers, a paradox if you will of creativity comes in inverse proportion to proximity to writing implements, lol.

  2. The more regularly you write – anything – the easier it is to have those moments, or to hold on to the words when you do.
    Honest. I had that for awhile while I was doing the 30 days of short stories thing.

    • I know I should write more, I really do. I try to write on my lunch breaks at work, but I find when I do that it feels like I worked through my lunch, so its really not much of a break. With Beth working nights by the time I get home we only have about two and a half hours together and I always want to spend that time with her and then by the time she leaves I end up so tired I don’t want to think that hard. I know these are all excuses, but it really does seem like there is just not enough time in the day to do all the things that I have to do, all the things I want to do as well as things that just allow me to recharge my emotional and physical batteries. I need to try and structure in a time just for writing, just like a two hour block somewhere where I sit myself down and make myself make words no matter what.

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