believe


I think about a lot of strange and esoteric things.  Some are more profound than others like sometimes I think about the nature of truth and whether or not there is such a thing as entirely objective truth or if truth is only a matter of our perceptions and whatever gets the majority is considered THE truth or in another instance I ponder why sometimes we feel like a nut, and sometimes we don’t.  The one topic I always come back to though is one of belief.  Let me start off by saying right off the bat that I am not a religious person and I do not subscribe to any particular faith or denomination.  The reason for this is that I don’t truly believe in any of them.  This is not to say that I think they are wrong, nor do I think that anyone who does believe in any of them is foolish or naive.  In fact, I have a great admiration for anyone who does profess faith as it is a quality that I long thought that I did not possess.  My problem has always been that I cannot commit to any one answer to the ultimate questions whether that answer is one of science and logic or that of a divine origin.  If anyone were to ask if I believe in God, my honest answer is that I do not know.  As far as I am concerned both sides present just as compelling arguments for or against with the answer not truly available to any one person this side of death.  Even atheism is technically a faith because the proposition that God does not exist cannot be proven as you cannot prove a negative.  Any truth professed without evidence is by its very nature belief or faith rather than fact.  In the end I always found myself unable to say, with all my heart, yes or no and thus I thought that I have no faith.  I was wrong however.  Today I was in a conversation with my daughter about the tooth faerie.  She had just lost a tooth you see and had lost it at school as that is where it had fallen out and she was asking me if the tooth faerie would still come to her and leave her the usual gift of money.  I told her that I would have to call the tooth faerie and ask her what the exact rules are because all mommies and daddies have a card on which are printed the numbers of Santa Clause, the tooth faerie, the easter bunny  etc so that we can get in touch with them and she believed me, she didn’t even question it.  We proceeded to talk about whether or not the tooth faerie was real and I said that yes, she was.  My daughter then asked me if I believed in faeries in general, and I said yes, most definitely.  Now, I am sure a great many people will think I said this to preserve her innocence and not because I actually believe in faeries.  Those people would however be completely wrong.  As I said it I realized that I do wholeheartedly believe in faeries.  I also believe in dragons, elves, ogres, dwarves, Sasquatch, werewolves, vampires, the bogey man, gremlins and goblins, ufos, gods, monsters and everything in between.  I also, and most especially believe in magic.  So, the next thought I can hear people thinking as they read this is that I am a total nutter and how can any grown man believe in the existence of all those make-believe things when I don’t believe in God or his/her lack of existence.  It’s easy really, because I believe, with all my heart and soul that what we see and hear and can touch is not the sum and whole totality of the universe.  When I first heard “there are more things in heaven and earth than are dreamt of in our philosophy” I realized right then that this could be the truest thing I have ever heard.  There is mystery, there is wonder and all it takes is for it to be found.  I may seem like a complete idiot, but when I go for a walk in deep woods I completely expect that I might see a unicorn.  I think it’s just as plausible as a guy in a white robe with a beard speaking the whole universe into being or a sudden explosion of something out of a vast potential nothing just randomly spewing out everything we know.  At least my beliefs have documentation, thousands upon thousands of years of human beings telling stories of the wonders and marvels they have seen or traditions kept for centuries because iron horseshoes really do keep evil spirits out of your house if you hang them over your door.  I am not saying that I know anything more than anyone else or that my beliefs hold more merit than a Christian, Muslim, pagan, Buddhist or physicist.  All I am saying is that I have finally found that I believe and I think that its something precious.  I think that deep down a fundamental part of humanity doesn’t truly believe in anything and that is part of what is broken in our world.  I think a lot of people profess a belief, but that they do not possess it, not truly.  I think people exploit belief and pervert it to ends so heinous that if there is a hell, and for this point I fervently want to belive there is, they should be consigned to its deepest pit.  All children are born with belief and they are indiscriminate in it, they believe in everything and we call that innocence and think it pure, mourning its loss.  Why then would we not try to preserve at least some of this within ourselves?  There in lies the underlying point of all of this.  I do not care what you believe in, it makes no difference to me at all, the point is that you can find something to believe in at all.  God, family, capitalism, communism, science, the universal brotherhood of humanity, whatever it is, find that within yourself that is the truth, no matter what evidence anyone has to the contrary, find that which you and only you belive with all of your heart and cling to it, nurture it and good will come of this.  Loss of faith is killing this world, taking whatever soul it may possess and strangling it.  True faith, not the obscene pastiche of it that is propped up by institutions interested only in their own propagation.  Belief is personal and no two people will ever believe in exactly the same thing, that’s not the point.  The point is to find strength in what YOU believe, not making other people think you’re right.  I guess, in the end, all I would wish for anyone, my friends, my enemies, whomever is that all of you, just believe.

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