the best laid plans

So, I haven’t posted in a few days which sort of defeats what I was trying to do here, which is to write more.  Alas, shit happens.  I have been pondering what to do and where to go with this and I have a few ideas kicking around in my head, rearranging the furniture, holding unlicensed cock fights and generally making a nuisance of themselves which means I shall have to attempt to evict them onto the page, or this virtual equivalent.  It always seems like things come up that at the moment seem to be more important but in hindsight make me realize that coming here and creating something new and bright and shiny would have been far more satisfying to my soul.  I really want this to work, to get the mental muscles working again, maybe find that place in me that I’ve lost.  I honestly think there has been some form of identity crisis going on with me and a lot of it has to do with not being a writer any more.  I used to write on a daily basis, one new thing every single day and I just lost that, let it go and for no good reason I can fathom other than thinking that there were more important or better things I could be doing with my time when it was in fact writing that gave me any form of identity.  I am very sincerely hoping that somewhere in all of this I am going to find myself sitting in a big comfy armchair, with a nice cup of coffee in an oversize mug in a slightly shabby looking coffee house and when I do, I will look up at myself and grin and say, “hey, where’ve you been?”…so here’s to finding myself…good luck me.


3 Responses to “the best laid plans”

  1. You are sounding more and more like you every day you write.

  2. Yay! I really do need to loan you that book I mentioned. Perhaps I’ll buy you a copy instead.

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